Dr.Commander Selvam

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MARRIAGE COMPATIBILITY FACTORS IN ATHARVA VEDIC ASTROLOGY

We all have a relationship that works for us. Whatever you need from a relationship, there is someone out there, who can fulfil your needs. There is never complete compatibility as there are always some aspects of the relationship a couple needs to work out. If there were no issues to work out, then why would two souls come together. The trick in finding your best relationship is to look beyond the mere physical attraction and take all the issues you deal with to the spiritual evolution of your relationship.

Vedic Astrology pays great importance to relationships – especially marriage and there are many techniques for compatibility. Traditionally in India, the parents arranged marriages. One of the most important factors which, helped in making the marriages successful was the comparing of the birth charts of couple by the family astrologer. Marriage could only go ahead after the astrologers was satisfied with the compatibility and could let the parents know that there couple would be happy together. This practice of matching of charts is still very prevalent in India. The Kuta system has a complicated set of rules that matches the charts on sexual, spiritual and emotional level. It has twelve points of matching between two charts. The birth chart gives clues to every aspect of compatibility between the couple.

In the West, we seldom look at a birth chart of a person we are falling in love with. Compatibility is usually looked at later stages of the relationships. The Kutas can become a guide to develop the relationship further. Do not worry if you have a low score on the Kutas. Often low scoring relationships can last longer than the high scoring ones as there is karma to be worked out.

The essence of compatibility is how it works under pressure. We can love well in perfect conditions but when we face challenges our compatibility ratio comes into play. Good compatibility usually gives happiness. The length of relationship has usually nothing to do with compatibility. Many people choose to live in an unhappy relationship, knowing they have nothing in common.

Relationships in Mind, Body and Spirit

Relationships and marriages are considered to be a meeting of the mind, body and spirit. A good partnership is good for the soul. A marriage is considered a re-birth where two individual personalities merge into one. The relationship then has a life of its own; two souls are tied together in a spiritual connection. People change their names after marriage regarding it as a re-birth where the couple is dealing with new realities and a new life together

The Importance of the Woman’s Happiness

Vedic compatibility is always done from the woman’s point of view. Indians believe that for a long and happy marriage or relationship, the nurturing of the woman is very important as she forms the strength in a relationship. She is Shakti or the divine female power. Traditionally women were honoured and looked after to ensure their happiness. In modern context, it is the dissatisfaction of the women in relationships that is leading to the disruption of many relationships. The modern man should honour his woman as a wife, mother and lover. The women in the 21st century are much more dynamic than their traditional counterparts. But some of this ancient wisdom applied to the modern relationship and the honouring of the female instinct by both men and women would go a long way to providing happiness.

Karma and Relationships

Getting to know about the law of karma is the key to understanding Vedic relationships. The word karma literally means ‘action’. Every action we take in this life, our past and future lives is our karma. We choose the fruits of our previous karma that we are going to face in this life, both the negative and the positive. The law of Karma says that the ultimate responsibility for our life and happiness rests with us. We cannot blame anyone else for what we are experiencing today. Our actions past and present create situations that we have to face through the journey of our life.

When we relate to our karma, we realise that this birth is only a small part of the whole, because this life is only one of a multitude of lives. The whole is like a necklace. Each lifetime is one pearl but all the pearls have to be strung together to make the necklace. In different life times we form contacts and relationships. Some relationships get completed but some remain unfinished. These unfinished relationships form part of our relationship Karma. The soul remembers. When we meet the soul of loved ones from the past, there is an instant connection. How often you have met someone to whom you are instantly attracted.

Rnanu Bandhana or Karmic Ties

Rnanu means debt and Bandhana means ties. This word is usually used for karmic ties that hold us together. Only those ties have an impact on this life which have some debts- in this case the word debt is meant as unfinished business. Before the soul is born it makes a decision on what relationships are going to mature in this lifetime and with whom it is going to pay off its karmic debts. At the time of birth, when the umbilical cord is cut, the mind forgets this but retains it in the subconscious. When we meet someone with whom we have a rnanu bandhana to work out, the inter-action begins immediately. But with those who you have completed your karma- there is an instant recognition but nothing develops from it. It is important to let go of these relationships. They create unnecessary confusion emotionally. Also some relationships are not matured, the time to pay off that debt has not arrived as yet. Again those relationships do not develop.

What type of relationship you experience depends on the karmic equation? When you fall in love, how this relationship works out depends on what your mutual rnanu bandhana is. If you have greater debts to pay, you will be the one who is putting more into the relationship. Sometimes you are stuck in a very one- sided situation and wonder why you are still in. In an unfinished relationship of past life where you were the taker, when your souls meet again you need to balance this equation, so this time around it is you who become the giver or vice versa.

In sexual relationships also the concept of rnanu bandhana is important. If you are in a relationship and your sexual relationship suddenly stops or the sexual attraction suddenly dies. The karma of sex may have been completed. Or you have a purely sexual relationship- then you had already worked out the other aspects of the relationship.

The Quality of the Moon

Moon as the significator of the mind, is the most important planet to study when you are trying to work with compatibility. If all other factors are good but the Moon is in an unhappy position in your chart or placed with difficult planets, then there will be issues within relationships. The Moon plays an important part in our hidden emotions, happiness and desires. As a planet which shows your relationship with your mother- it indicates the love or lack of it in your childhood. Many emotional problems are related to childhood. If the Moon is with malefic or afflicted, it shows a person trying to work with their inner issues and it can create challenges or difficulties in trying to relate to others. A Moon which is hemmed in by Saturn and Rahu will have more problems to deal with emotionally and this will create difficulty in relating to a person regardless of the quality of the 7th house, Venus, Jupiter etc.

Opposites Attract

Those who express the opposite energy of your Lagna, Sun or Moon signs can be good partners and lead to a satisfying relationship. If your ascendant is opposite to your partners Ascendant, then it is considered a very good compatibility as they would be your natural partners. For Example, a Gemini Ascendant male and Sagittarius ascendant female or vice versa would be considered the ideal partners.

If her Moon sign is his Sun Sign. If you have a Leo Moon, you would be attractive to a person who has a Leo Sun.

Her Moon sign is opposite his Sun sign. An Aries Moon will be compatible with Libra Sun.

Karakas or significator of Relationships

Karakas or significators play an important part in looking at relationships.

Jupiter is the Karaka for men in a woman’s chart and Venus, the karaka for women in a man’s chart. Venus is also the karaka of relationships. The position or dignity of these two planets becomes very important in understanding what kind of relationships you are likely to have. These planets are studied on their own as well as the 7th house in relation to Venus in your birth chart. As Venus signifies relationships, the 7th house from Venus will give you further insight e.g. if your Venus is in Taurus, Scorpio as the 7th house from Taurus will be studied as a secondary house for relationships. Conjunctions or placement of these planets will give you further clues to your relationships.

An exalted Venus indicates your ability to have a long term relationship. If Venus is conjunct Saturn, there may be a delay in relationships. Any Conjunctions with Rahu Ketu add a shadowy aspect to your relationship. It can also indicate involvement in unconventional relationships. If Venus or Jupiter are placed in one of the dusthana houses (6th, 8th or 12th) , then the quality of relationship can suffer.

Similarly Jupiter as the significator of Men in a women’s chart gives indication of the type of husband/partner you are going to get. A debilitated Jupiter does not suggest lack of partner, but the type of partner who may be restricted in this life by Saturnian consideration.

The 7th House and the 7th house ruler

Any planet, benefic or malefic are not good in the 7th house. Sun creates too much fire, Mars- passion, anger, Moon- emotions, Saturn- detachment, Rahu- dissatisfaction, Ketu- loss or rejection, Mercury, Venus and Jupiter give multiple relationships. Here you have to look at this aspect from a more western point of view. Most of us have relationships before we settle down to a commitment . More than one relationship indicated in your chart may not be a negative factor for you. 7th house ruler and it’s placement with the malefics – Saturn, Mars, Sun, Rahu and Ketu can create challenges within your relationships.

Mars and Relationships

Mars can spoil marital happiness. Indian Sages believed that Mars passion created disharmony in long term happiness of a relationship unless it was matched by a partner with equally strong nature. Mars placed in the 1st, 4th , 7th, 8th and 12th house was usually considered to create problems in relationship which can lead to sudden or unexpected endings. This is known as Kuja Dosha . But as you see it indicates most of Mars positions as negative for relationship. But this dosha has been wrongly understood. The reason for pointing out these positions as difficult so that a good astrologer would match this chart with a partner who had similar desires/ strengths. Mars is a planet of action, power, militancy, war, passion, strong sexuality and it needs a partner who can deal with these powerful energies. Kuja dosha becomes a problem if you meet up with a partner who is soft and timid and can become a victim. Here it is important to remember in India divorce is not common. Partners marry for life. So if a person had strong sexual needs then they needed a partner who could fulfil them. Also if one partner is too powerful and can intimidate the other, there can be victimisation in relationships. Otherwise, there would be much unhappiness.

Rahu Ketu Create Shadows

Any conjunction with Rahu Ketu with the 7th house ruler, Jupiter or Venus and their placement in the 1st, 7th house axis create shadowy challenges within relationships. Rahu Ketu in the 1st 7th axis churn up the issues related to yourself and partnerships. As they work on the psychological level, the nodes can create obstacles in your mind. Rahu in the 7th usually makes you dissatisfied with your relationships. It can lead to multiple relationships. Ketu in the 7th will create a feeling of rejection . You may reject relationships or get involved in relationships which reject you. Ketu conjunct Venus specially indicates you are working out some past life issues through your marriage or relationships. For men, it can mean women who bring some personal baggage into your relationship. Any conjunctions of Jupiter with the nodal axis will create some kind of difficulty within the relationship. Rahu signifies foreigners, so it could also indicate a attraction to those who are foreign to you.

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